12.15.2013

If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart.

Well, I have totally been slacking on this blog, and I apologize. Several people have emailed and messaged me asking me if I've had the baby yet and if everything was ok. Everything is wonderful, I just haven't had the time to sit down and share with the world the new joy in my life.

It's taken me 3 weeks to blog about it, but Bayor Matthias enter the world on November 23, 2013 at 8:49am, weighing a whopping 9lbs. 15oz. and measuring 20 inches long!


He is absolutely perfect. I am head over heels for this guy, and so is everyone else is our house.


What a joy it was to watch his brothers and sisters fall in love with him. They're all so great and such a big help. And going through this has made me fall in love with his daddy all over again too. I had a moment of deja vu when I was getting the epidural, and I started to have a panic attack because Steve wasn't in the room yet and I was terrified that I'd be doing this alone again. I had pushed aside how terrifying that really was for the last 3 years, but it seized me in that moment. But when Steve finally did come in the room, he kissed every tear away and calmed me down until we both heard the beautiful cries of our sweet son....and the tears came over me again.
I found out after the fact how much God really was watching over me. I had prayed really hard to have a VBAC, since I've never gotten to experience having a vaginal delivery. I got so close the first time around and desperately wanted to go through that with Steve. The doctor was hesitant because I had had more than 2 C-Sections and because there is always a 1% chance that my uterus could rupture, which would be fatal to both me and the baby, but he agreed to at least try if that's what I wanted.

Well, God didn't answer my prayer for a VBAC, but answered an unspoken prayer and saved my life and Bayor's. I was the 1%. As it turns out, the doctor found a tear in my uterus when he delivered Bayor. He said something about it to Steve at the time of birth, but didn't make it sound like too big of a deal. But the next morning he came into my hospital room to tell me how lucky I was to be here and that if I had gone into labor, or if anything out of the ordinary had happened, it would have been fatal. The tear was about 2 inches long and spanned across my stomach. He said that the only thing holding Bayor inside was the lining of my stomach. He also told me it was a good thing I had my tubes tied during the procedure, as having more kids in the future wasn't really an option any more.

After the doctor left the room, I started reading more about it (I was kind of in shock when he was talking and didn't ask enough questions) and just started balling, realizing how God had His hand in it. Even now thinking about it is a very sobering thought. I am ready to see Jesus, but my family needs me and the thought of our kids going through another loss so close to home makes me sick to my stomach. 

Now here we are, home safe and sound, grateful and happy. Bayor was very swollen when he was born and dropped a lot of weight before he came home, so he's only now getting back up to his birth weight. But he is a wonderful baby with a very chill and sweet demeanor.


He has already brought so much joy in our lives and I love watching the way he has brought our family even closer. What a blessing.


I mean, seriously. Look at those faces. 

"If you think my hands our full, you should see my heart."



15 comments:

Anonymous said...

So happy for you. You have a gorgeous family. Bayor is precious. God has fully blessed you. Thankful for His watchful hand. Merry Christmas!

Crossing My Fingers said...

Love the name and the pics! Congrats to you and your family, Vee!

m&msmommy said...

I've followed your story ever since you first lost your husband and tears filled my eyes as I read this most recent post. God is SO good! All of your children are beautiful and that last picture really got me! :) 3 sweet boy and 3 sweet girls...how truly blessed you are! :)

Anonymous said...

Wonderful news. Glad everyone is safe, healthy and happy! Congratulations.

Tammie Lewis said...

Oh My! What a beautiful boy you have been blessed to complete your beautiful family! Amen to unspoken prayers being answered. so very happy all turned out okay and that Bayor and you are okay. Congratulations to you and steve and the rest of your bunch. Sending you many blessings for a very rich life full of love!

Stacy said...

Congratulations!!! I have followed you for awhile. I am so happy for you and your family. I just had a baby on 2/27 and he too is a red head like a couple of your munchkins!! It sure is a hot topic when we go out. People always commenting on how great his hair is! I bet that happens to you too! You have a beautiful family!!! Merry Christmas!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you & your family !!!

DianeTaylor said...

Veronica - God bless you and your wonderful family. I was so happy to see this post - and I am sure your heart is overflowing with joy. I have been following your story for so long, it's like saying good bye to a friend!!! I am working thru my grief after losing my son 20 months ago - and I always found some level of comfort reading your posts about dealing with grief - and moving forward. Thank you for that - and for sharing the good, the bad, and the reallu ugly. I hope I can get there one day---no wait, I KNOW I will get there one day.

Take care and I will keep you in my prayers :):)

Diane Taylor
Baltimore MD
Mother of Jonathan Paul Daily
4/25/87 - 3/1/12

Amy said...

Congratulations! So happy for you & your sweet family! Merry Christmas!

Missy June said...

I was so happy to read your update, and welcome to sweet Baylor. I imagine both your hands AND heart are FULL! Congratulations! We're in the middle of blended family chaos and bliss, ourselves - it's a lot!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful family! Congratulations on the new addition.

Midwest Mom said...

Congrats!!!! He is beautiful and SOOO big!!! Enjoy this precious time and Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

I feel like, with this post, your story has come full circle. I don't even know you and yet my eyes were filling with tears as I read this, because I've been reading for so long, and I feel like I've been on this journey with you. Knowing what this means to you, and to your family...I'm just amazed by the mightiness of the Lord who can do all things. Those children are all the most adorable, most precious children ever. You are a wonderfully blessed family and I could not be happier for all of you. Enjoy, girl!

Anonymous said...

Amazing ~ congratulations !!

glenda said...

so happy for you and your family
happy holidays to you and your family

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